it's amazing. i'm actually a little disappointed that i haven't updated this blog as often as i'd liked. but there are just so many things on my mind. there are just so many things to do. i guess i do have the time, but i just "feel" like i don't have the time. i haven't had the time to do the (some) of the things that i wanted to do. i feel like i've lost my focus. there are a lot of things i want to continue to pursue (i.e skating, travelling). everyone has his/her wants. i think mine is relatively simple. i really appreciate the simple things in life. it doesn't take too much to make me happy. really. (but that doesn't mean i don't get annoyed with things.)

i am not going to quit my blog just yet. i may not feel up to it to update my blog on a regular basis, but that doesn't mean i ought it quit it altogether.

i think i'm going through a quarter life crisis right now. for those who are not familiar with it, there is a book and a website on that topic too. i guess that's typical of people of my age. i'm not sure what i should be doing or whether i'm actually doing what i ought to be doing. wait, who cares about what i ought to be doing? am i doing what i want to be doing? i guess for the most part, i don't have any complaints because i'm not really restricted to pursue what i wanted to do (although as expenses/financial consideration becomes a hindrance for wants like travelling). and, besides the career aspect, what about the social life, love life, educational life, and well, just life in general.

but at the very least, i have a pretty good and challenging job which keeps my mind off things and takes care of the bills (car payments really dent my "attempt" to save). my birthday is also coming up, which makes me think about what direction i wanted to take. do i go to grad school (part-time)? take classes that i'm interested in? i just feel like what i choose to do now will affect me later on in the future (if i want to change my career, i'd better make up my mind) so i'm thinking about my decisions cautiously.

and well, there is just so much more on my mind that i'm willing to share here because it gets too personal. sometimes i feel that life treats me kindly and at other times, i realized just how cruel it can be too. sometimes, it's just not fair. then again, no matter how hard i may have it (things not typical for people my age), i realized that there are bound to be others who have it even worse. i guess it doesn't really matter; i guess it all made appreciate the valiant efforts everyone put up in their fight against their struggles. (that'd probably take away just a bit of my usual optimism, maybe...)

and who says that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? (yes, i can and understand where it comes from), but really, but who's to argue otherwise? if you have never loved at all, then you wouldn't know the pain that comes from having loved and lost, right?

and yes, relationships are still complicated. even friendships.

and for some reason, i think some people that i'm perfect or completely innocent. i'm not. no one is perfect and no one is completely innocent. and while i am happy with myself, i'm far from perfect. now please leave me alone.

on the bright side, i've joined the gym through my corporate membership, and i'm absolutely loving it.

Posted 10:29 PM by hiu k.